5 Ways You Know You're A Third Culture Kid

Third culture kid (TCK) is a term that many have not heard of. Only those who are considered to be a TCK know exactly what it means. It’s hard to define precisely what it is, but hopefully this will come close: A TCK is a kid who has spent a substantial part of their development years outside of their parents’ culture. This definition doesn’t come close to explaining our experiences, but the only way of really understanding a TCK, is to be one.

A Third Culture Kid isn’t just a person; it’s a culture and a way of life. It’s a connection you have with other TCKs, especially the ones you spent your adolescent years with. It’s almost like a different language that only we understand, and a different world that only we live in. All of this comes from the unique experiences that we share, in a country that should technically be foreign to us, but is actually considered one of our many homes.


The top 5 ways of knowing you’re a TCK are:

5. You feel more at home at airports than you do anywhere else 

If you’re a TCK, travelling is usually second nature to you. You travel so much whether it is to the several places you consider home, or to places you’ve never set foot in. You’re a world explorer. You love being exposed to new cultures. Typically, those cultures are completely different than anything you’ve ever experienced before, but instead of feeling distressed, you embrace it. If you’re like me, you end up having to travel for over 24 hours just to go home from college for every holiday. Thus, airports are a constant in your life. You become so familiar with them that they end up feeling like home.

4. The culture shock is real 

Although we third culture kids are known for our ability to adapt to different environments quickly, we still experience the famous culture shock. We’re so accustomed to growing up in a culture that is exceedingly international that it has become all we know. Once we finally go back to what is supposed to be our “home” country, we end up culture shocked and feeling like foreigners. Imagine that you’ve spent most of your developmental years overseas, so going back is actually an eye-opening experience. You’ve been gone for so long that it becomes hard to relate to people who don’t have a multicultural background. It’s hard not to feel like you don’t belong and you realize how different you are from these people. Even though you’ve experienced so many different cultures, you haven’t experienced this one, and this time it’s harder than any other exotic place you’ve visited/lived. You’re confused about what is or isn’t okay to do or say. It’s a whole other world you didn’t know existed, so if you’re like me, you might end up losing yourself for a while. But that’s okay because you slowly start to adapt to your new home, and eventually learn to accept the differences of this culture just like you have with all the others. You begin to understand the way things work and learn to appreciate this new life. What keeps you going is that in the back of your head, you know you still have your TCK friends out there.

3. "Where are you from?" is a million dollar question

Answering the question of where you’re from would normally be the most simple of questions, but this is not the case for us TCKs. Why? Because we have been raised in one or more countries different from that of our parents’. You might have been born in their home country, but soon after that you were gone. The only times you go back there are for the occasional visits to “family” who you rarely ever see. It is because of this that even you are confused about where you’re from. When asked that question, you usually sigh and answer with the long explanation you’ve memorised because of the amount of times you've had to repeat it. Another cause for confusion is because TCKs are not exactly sure what people mean when they ask it. I had to learn the hard way that when people ask where you’re from they’re asking where you grew up, not your nationality or where you were born.

2. You have friends from ALL over the world 

Usually, TCKs end up moving to the country they hold citizenship for in order to attend university, scattering them across the globe. It is also common for friends to move because of their parents’ careers. So no matter where you go, whether it is Canada, Europe, or Africa, you know you have someone’s couch to crash on. Your friend group becomes so culturally diverse that it ends up consisting of many different races, political opinions, and religions. This leads to many controversial discussions with your best of friends, late at night, even during the craziest parties. But it’s okay because you know that no matter how intense those discussions get, you see those differences as a way to challenge each other intellectually. It strengthens your friendship and allows the party to continue through the night.

1. Home isn't a place, it's the people in it

This one might be a little cliché. Okay it’s a lot cliché. It’s probably because it can apply to anyone and everyone. But this one especially applies to third culture kids. Although we may have several places we call home, there’s always one special place that was our favorite. It’s usually the place that we met the greatest friends in. As a TCK, you may have moved around a lot, made a bunch of amazing friends, but nothing compares. Usually, this is because of the number of real connections you made with people and the many experiences you shared. It doesn’t matter how much time has gone by, when you meet up with these specific people, you always feel at home. No matter where you are, if you’re with them, it feels right. The feeling that you belong overwhelms you and reminiscing about the old days fills your soul with utter bliss. It’s truly bittersweet. As a TCK, the friendships you made with these people in that one special place are the ones you know will last forever.